The scene opens with Batman on a rooftop overlooking Gotham City. It is a calm night. Suddenly a woman screams in terror.Batman: Looks like another night of saving Gotham from itself.
Batman leaps into action. He glides through the narrow buildings until he arrives at the source of the commotion. Smoke fills the sky. Cars are on fire and people are running in terror. Batman scans the streets. He sees what appears to be a silver humanoid in the distance. The creature senses Batman’s arrival and turns to greet him. He is stunned by what he sees.
Batman: Rachel?
The humanoid has a face which looks like the slain Rachel Dawes. The machine produces a loud screech and begins firing its machine gun at Batman. Batman takes cover behind an overturned van. The robot Rachel grabs the van and hurls it aside. Batman hurls a batarang at the machine with no effect. He reaches for his mini bazooka, but the monstrosity smacks the bazooka from his hands. It punches Batman and sends him flying a block down the road. He staggers to his feet in time to avoid more gunfire. He throws out a few smoke bombs, but the machine is still able to find him in the smoke using its infrared vision and once again hurls Batman around like a rag doll. A bloody Batman realizes the machine has tossed him toward his bazooka. He crawls for the weapon. The robot walks toward Batman, stands over him, and lifts its leg as if to crush him. Batman grabs the bazooka, flips over, and fires a sticky bomb onto the machine’s chest. He scurries up as the three second timer counts down and detonates.
When the smoke clears, the machine seems unharmed. It slowly looks up and makes eye contact with Batman. Just then a black van screeches onto the street. The mechanical Rachel turns toward the van. The vehicle stops and Commissioner Gordon steps out of the passenger side door with a remote control. He presses a button and the machine collapses onto the street. He and three police officers in tactical gear load the machine into the back of the van.
Batman: Gordon? What is going on here?
Gordon: I don’t have time to discuss this. We have to get her back to the lab immediately before the press arrives asking questions.
Batman: Is that Rachel?
Gordon ignores him and helps the crew load her into the van. Batman grabs the door and prevents them from closing it.
Batman (angrily): What have you done to Rachel?
Gordon: Come on. Hope in and I can explain everything when we get back to lab.
Batman, Gordon, and the crew drive away with the machine in tow. They drive to a desolate set of warehouses outside of Gotham City. An officer exits the vehicle to unlock and open the main doors to one of the larger buildings. The van pulls inside. Batman is shocked by the plethora of machines, tubes, and wires. The van’s back doors swing open and they hoist the robot onto a metal table.
Gordon: Damn. This is going to set us back another month at least.
Batman: Gordon, what is this?
Gordon: This is our lab. After Harvey Dent died a few years ago, we discovered a case file he was extremely interested in. He believed there was a horrific monster which was about to emerge and terrorize Gotham. He managed to sneak funding into the construction of this facility. Here scientists would build machines to stop the beast. When Harvey passed away, I became aware of what was happening and got involved. Progress has been great. This prototype here is nearly unstoppable. However its programming was another issue. The machine would require an incredible artificial intelligence program. I suggested a way around this problem was to use the remains of Rachel Dawes.
Batman: This thing is not Rachel!
Gordon: You are partly correct. We call her Machine Rachel. It does not have Rachel’s body, but it does have her mind. We were able to reanimate portions of her brain tissue. I like to think that is what Harvey would have wanted. Batman, that is Rachel on the table.
Batman: What has science done?!
Gordon: She is still very much Rachel. After we activated her, she was laughing and conversing as if nothing happened. She asked about Harvey. She did not take the news of his death well. That’s when that rampage happened. With any luck we can pass off her destruction as the acts of one of your nemesis … the Riddler perhaps.
Batman stares at the lifeless Machine Rachel. There is a sense of longing in his eyes.
Gordon: I hope we can get her operational again before the Dark Beast emerges.
Batman: Harvey’s imagined creature?
Gordon: This is no myth.
Batman: The only monsters in this world are other people.
Gordon: Not this creature. This beast is very real. It has attacked crew members aboard several ships entering and leaving Gotham Harbor. It drains their blood and consumes their scrotums. It has tentacles which can strangle elephants. Worse still are the sounds and the stench of crying wet babies that follows it everywhere.
Batman: Does this creature have a name?
Gordon: A few months ago the Ashanti tribe of Ghana was brutally attacked by the creature. The news outlets did not take their accounts seriously, but we did. They saw its hideous black eyes, its extensive tentacles, and its entourage of babies. They referred to it as “Octomom”.
Batman: If such a creature exists, why did you not tell me?
Gordon: Because I know you. You will try to stop it. You cannot stop it. This creature is too powerful for you Batman. And there is a possibility you could lose your scrotum.
Officer 1: Sir, it’s the creature! It has just been spotted near Douglas’ Lighthouse.
Gordon turns to Batman.
Batman: You have no need to fear Commissioner. I can handle this.
Gordon (turning toward Machine Rachel): I am afraid without her you cannot.
Batman sneaks out of the building before Gordon can turn around. A stylish new Batmobile is parked outside. Inside is Batman’s new apprentice.
Batman: Good thing I brought the locator with me. Now move over and let me drive.
Robin: Where are we heading?
Batman: To Gotham Harbor.
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